letters to slimmy, chapter 40

rrrrrr Slim, this is not good man. not good.  how do i?.....what if i?.....should or shouldn't i?......  i'm stretched top to bottom, from head to heart and back again.  it feels right, i have reservations....it doesn't feel right, i don't have reservations....constant back and forth....it is, it isn't......what the fuck does it mean?  acceptance, then reservations.  and oh hot damn the memories.  that feeling.  you know.  yeah, about patience and all that....