Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 35

whoa, long time no talk Slimmy! i've gone through ups and downs, more downs than ups, but i emerged with a plan. going forth on a journey with no set direction in mind. wherever the road leads me, and all that jazz. anyway, i've been feeling much better by way of my own methods of therapy, which are helping immensely, and i will be adding more methods forthwith. (forthwith. heh heh.) you know my situation right, Slim? well i'm just biding my time, putting a plan into motion, taking things as they come day by day. that's all i can do, you know. i noticed i'm much more thoughtful, and dare i say a bit more hopeful, than usual. however, i still have my transgressions. but i'm working on it, Slim, i'm working on it. i feel a little more relaxed and cautiously optimistic if you will. i've emptied my soul of past hurts...well, at least a lot of it leaked out...and i feel a lot lighter. there wull always be storm clouds hovering above, but i must remember the old saying 'this too shall pass.' and they will pass, and i will watch as they float on by, and be grateful for their provocative nature.

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 34

hey slim. what a day i've had. it's been a day filled with freak outs. i'm freaking out about this, freaking out about that. i'm freaking out, man. but whatever. i'm tired, and i'm giving my freak outs away. i can't handle them anymore. other than that, things have been busy. did you notice how creative i've been? this would've burned you, i'm sure, but i have no worries about that now. in the past, baby. i'm doing me now. haha.

so i've been having all these weird dreams with you in them. some are very vivid, light last night's, others are vague and fleeting. they make no sense as far as i can conclude. but i guess if i go back and really think about it i might see clues to my subsconcious. don't know.

anyway, they're the same with you-know-who being a you-know-what. is this supposed to make me stronger? are there clues there, too? i'm trying to stop and listen...there's got to be a message here somewhere. i'll keep listening.

see ya later.

love,
j

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 33

hey. just a quick note before i head off to sleep. my heart's broken.

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 32

oh slimmy. why do i wait so long to pour my heart out at your feet? you know those struggles i've been through? well i'm going through the same struggles again, this time with the other one. not as often but just as intense. it's tiring, slim. i am so, so tired. i feel beat up, beat down, and beat out. a constant losing battle. can't a girl get a break for fuck's sake? i want peace, i seek it, yet can never seem to grasp it. i keep pushing on but fear that i'll blindly push too hard and go freefalling downward. what to do? seek refuge in my work? my thoughts and emotions? or other unsavory choices? the path you chose seems awfully tempting at this turn, but i recoil at the possible dangerous end result of that. motherfuck, slim.

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 31

hey slim. i'm in love. again. and i'm not sure how i feel about it. i questioned whether it was real or maybe i was just imagining it since i've been so lonely but, nope, i'm definitely in love. am i happy? not sure. i'm glad that i'm able to feel again, but don't know if it's the right thing to be doing. it's definitely unrequited, so maybe that's why i'm questioning it. i don't know slim, i'm just so tired of feeling this way. help me please. love, me

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 30

i'm at the end of my rope, slim, and my hands are slipping. the struggle to hang on is too great. who will catch me if i fall?

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 29

well, slim, that happiness i was a feeling not long ago has subsided once again. i'm not doing too good anymore. as expected, things have taken a turn for the worst and the downward spiral has picked up speed. it's a very different state of mind this time, nothing i've ever felt before. it's seriously scaring me, slim.