Hi Slim,
Just wanted to pop in real quick and let you know I've made a decision. I'm not going to fight it anymore, I'm accepting things for what they are. This is obviously the life that's been laid out for me and no matter how much it hurts, I really don't believe it will ever change. I'm going forward with my plans...you know the ones...and have already started thinking about the details. I'm tired and weary of holding on to hope, and honestly think that there isn't much hope left. If this is how it has to be, then so be it. I have a very long wait ahead of me, but I pray it will all be worth it. I'll keep you posted on the details.
Love,
J
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 9
Hey,
I'm feeling a bit lonely, Slim. I've got all these crazy, mixed up feelings of anger, excitement, apprehension, sadness (to name a few) and am ready to explode. You're the only one I trust with any of this. Pretty sad, huh? I felt the most comfortable with you, and never felt afraid to express myself. Now I'm afraid to open my mouth to anyone about how I feel. I tried that recently, and look where it got me. Looking foolish and regretting uttering a single word. You're the only one who ever cared, Slim....well, at least you seemed to care before all of that happened. I just wish I had someone I could call when I'm feeling this way. Someone who will take the time to lend an ear, offer words of encouragement, be supportive, and tell me it's all going to be ok. Someone I could go to when no words are necessary, just a big old bear hug will suffice. Why have I been left all alone, Slim? Do you think you can find out for me? I want to believe there's a reason for all of this, I really do. But right now I can't.
Thanks,
J
I'm feeling a bit lonely, Slim. I've got all these crazy, mixed up feelings of anger, excitement, apprehension, sadness (to name a few) and am ready to explode. You're the only one I trust with any of this. Pretty sad, huh? I felt the most comfortable with you, and never felt afraid to express myself. Now I'm afraid to open my mouth to anyone about how I feel. I tried that recently, and look where it got me. Looking foolish and regretting uttering a single word. You're the only one who ever cared, Slim....well, at least you seemed to care before all of that happened. I just wish I had someone I could call when I'm feeling this way. Someone who will take the time to lend an ear, offer words of encouragement, be supportive, and tell me it's all going to be ok. Someone I could go to when no words are necessary, just a big old bear hug will suffice. Why have I been left all alone, Slim? Do you think you can find out for me? I want to believe there's a reason for all of this, I really do. But right now I can't.
Thanks,
J
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 8
My dear Slim,
I've taken on a new project. One that I've never, ever considered taking on before, and one that I never discuss with anyone. You know what I'm talking about don't you, Slim? It's THE story. The one I've hidden deep down inside of me all these years. The one that's left me permanently scarred. The one that shattered my heart, my spirit, my world. The one I still have not recovered from. That's right my man, I'm telling that story for everyone to hear. I'm terrified and excited at the same time. I figure that maybe if I open up about it, let it all out, I can finally find some closure. After all it is still an open wound, still seeping blood, still breeding infection. Maybe telling the story out loud will be like sutures closing that wound, finally allowing it to heal. What do you think, Slimmy? I'm about to tell the whole wide world about the pain and suffering, the heartache and misery, the death and destruction. Will it rip through your cold heart to hear me tell it the way it will rip through my soul? I know this is something I need to do. In fact, I should've done it a long time ago. I'm still scared, Slim, but I've always been scared. That's nothing new.
Love,
J
I've taken on a new project. One that I've never, ever considered taking on before, and one that I never discuss with anyone. You know what I'm talking about don't you, Slim? It's THE story. The one I've hidden deep down inside of me all these years. The one that's left me permanently scarred. The one that shattered my heart, my spirit, my world. The one I still have not recovered from. That's right my man, I'm telling that story for everyone to hear. I'm terrified and excited at the same time. I figure that maybe if I open up about it, let it all out, I can finally find some closure. After all it is still an open wound, still seeping blood, still breeding infection. Maybe telling the story out loud will be like sutures closing that wound, finally allowing it to heal. What do you think, Slimmy? I'm about to tell the whole wide world about the pain and suffering, the heartache and misery, the death and destruction. Will it rip through your cold heart to hear me tell it the way it will rip through my soul? I know this is something I need to do. In fact, I should've done it a long time ago. I'm still scared, Slim, but I've always been scared. That's nothing new.
Love,
J
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