Hey slim,
Lightbulbs were going off in my head today like fireworks lighting up the night sky. epiphany central, i'm telling you. i learned a lot about myself and i must say it's quite an eye opener. hell, i'm more complex than i thought. which is fascinating, considering i haven't felt this real and wide open in a very long time. it's a good thing! maybe now i can break down those bricks, huh? there's a new freedom to be had, and i quite like it. like riding on a real nice high. the demons are still there, i can see them pretty clearly now though, rather than through clouded eyes. i think my heart sang a little today, too!
love,
J
p.s. marty's teaching me to play johnny cash on the guitar!
Friday, April 15, 2011
Monday, April 11, 2011
Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 27
Hey Slim,
Man am I feeling blah. Blase skippy! I know that's out of context, but so what. You see what's been going on, right? What a clusterfuck if there ever was one. Is he coming, or am I going? Is he turning into him, and is he EVER going to straighten out? Am I Seraphine? All these unanswered questions have my head spinning. It's too heavy a burden to bear.
I can't talk right now. It's just too much.
Man am I feeling blah. Blase skippy! I know that's out of context, but so what. You see what's been going on, right? What a clusterfuck if there ever was one. Is he coming, or am I going? Is he turning into him, and is he EVER going to straighten out? Am I Seraphine? All these unanswered questions have my head spinning. It's too heavy a burden to bear.
I can't talk right now. It's just too much.
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 26
Hi. Ok, so this is what I want to say:
9:41p
"softening the blow? you're trying to figure out a way to let me down easy, aren't you? whether you let someone down easy or not, you still let them down. i'm heartbroken. i know i'm not good enough for you yet i still want to pretend that maybe, just maybe, i am. so i keep saying i want out, then come running back. you give me fleeting glimpses of what could be, then snatch it away. you keep my heart on a string and dangle it in front of me like a fucking carrot. tease, retreat, tease, retreat. repeat often. i love you, dammit. and you don't even like me. those words are like salt in the wound. time to stitch that baby up."
It's a harsh ending, no? I get angry and go off on a tangent! Should rein that in, huh? I'll rework it and be back. :)
10:27p
I've reworked it and came up with this: "goodbye."
:(
9:41p
"softening the blow? you're trying to figure out a way to let me down easy, aren't you? whether you let someone down easy or not, you still let them down. i'm heartbroken. i know i'm not good enough for you yet i still want to pretend that maybe, just maybe, i am. so i keep saying i want out, then come running back. you give me fleeting glimpses of what could be, then snatch it away. you keep my heart on a string and dangle it in front of me like a fucking carrot. tease, retreat, tease, retreat. repeat often. i love you, dammit. and you don't even like me. those words are like salt in the wound. time to stitch that baby up."
It's a harsh ending, no? I get angry and go off on a tangent! Should rein that in, huh? I'll rework it and be back. :)
10:27p
I've reworked it and came up with this: "goodbye."
:(
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