Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 19

Hey Slim,

Breathe in, breathe out. At times like these I have to remember to breathe in, breathe out. You know what I'm talking about. My mind is racing and my heart is pounding and I just have to remember to breathe. That one simple act seems to clear my head and slow my heart, so I try to quiet myself by locking myself in room and just breathing. I know this is something that isn't a necessity for you anymore, but I know you understand. Isn't it funny how I always turn to you since I have nowhere else to turn? I cry out for help and my prayers seem to wither away and die, so I turn to the one whose breath no longer exists. Sad, I know. But that's what life has turned out to be: sad. Sadness and misery, hopelessness and fear. I thought I was through with this all those years ago, but it seems there's a whole lot more of that in store for me. Each day I learn to accept it a little bit more, but that's not to say that isn't just as hard for me now as it was then. Total numbness is closing in. Maybe, just maybe, when that numbness sets in none of this will make my mind race or my heart pound. All I'll need to do is breathe.