Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 6

What's poppin' there, Slimmy? Did you happen to see me tonight? Did you see how good I was? Did your cold, cold heart burn with envy? It's too bad, isn't it Slim? Too late for you to enjoy it now, huh? Oh, how I still wish things could've been different, but we both know that will never, ever happen again. You always thought you were irreplaceable, but the truth is that there was always someone better out there. Someone smarter, someone funnier...someone legal! HA! Laugh with me, Slimmy, for there's nothing you can do about it now. Where's it headed, you ask? Only the Good Lord above knows, and I leave it in His very capable hands. I'm just going to enjoy it while I have it. No worries about callous words or pounding fists. No worries about distrust or dishonesty. It feels GOOD for once, Slimmy. It makes me HAPPY, which is an emotion I haven't felt in its true sense in a long time. You took alot from me, Slim, but you can't take this feeling from me. All you can do now is watch, and weep. Ironic how the tables have turned. How I was the one weeping as I helplessly watched you destroy everything we had, knowing if I fought to keep it all together, you'd hold me back even more. I guess everything really does happen for a reason. What you put me through really did make me stronger, and for that I suppose I should thank you. So from the bottom of my heart I thank you for being the domineering, pompous dolt that you were. It enabled me to pick myself up and put me back on that pedestal, and shine like the star that I am. Sweet dreams, Slimmy boy, sweet dreams...

Encrypted

Jocooly, Jocooly, where'd you go?

You left me in the dark, you know.

Harsh words of yours, oh how they'd sting.

You know I didn't miss a thing.

Your bark, your bite, your iron fist,

Do you burn to have now what you missed?

The sex, the drugs, the rock & roll.

That kind of life will take it's toll.

You know that now, don't you Jo,

As you watch too late, see it ebb & flow?

Jocooly, Jocooly, where'd you go?

I'm headed for the light, asshole.

Desiderata

Go placidly amid the noise & haste, & remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly & clearly; & listen to others, even the dull & ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud & aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain & bitter; for always there will be greater & lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity & disenchantment it is perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue & loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees & the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors & aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery & broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be careful. Strive to be happy.

FOUND IN OLD SAINT PAUL'S CHURCH, BALTIMORE; DATED 1692

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 5

Alright, Slim, for the moment I'm going to let down my guard and engage in a little heart-to-heart with you. Now don't go getting your pearly white shorts all in a twist about it as my nostalgic mindset is only temporary. Oftentimes I daydream about those long weekends we spent holed up doing absolutely nothing but laying about in front of the television, watching rerun after rerun. Do you remember those weekends, Slim? Those were the good old days, huh? When you thought of me as your best lady who you could turn to when you needed to retreat from the chaos of that hard-knock life you so loved to live? Ah, what I wouldn't give to be that lady again. I know I could never be your lady again, but is it so far-fetched of me to think someone else could think of me that way? I was so good to you back then...waiting on you hand and foot, fulfilling your every need. I miss that, Slim. I miss loving and caring for someone so much that I didn't think twice when I was asked for something, no matter how trivial the request. It was pure pleasure to be at your disposal. I need to be needed like that again, Slim. To feel like there's a purpose somewhere in the midst of all this confusion. To know that somewhere, someone needs me. They need the warmth of my body next to theirs in order to feel safe. Just as you needed mine and I needed yours. Do you think that's a possibility for me, Slim, or am I just holding on to a ghost from a dream?

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 4

What's up, Slim? I know it's been awhile, but alot has been going on. Your beloved was hospitalized a few months ago....I can only imagine your heartache in seeing his little body lie helpless in that hospital bed. And I did a three day stint in the hospital myself a couple weeks ago. It seems your wish came full circle, huh? They did me in, Slim. They got the better of me...pushing me to the edge, letting me dangle there awhile, and then watched me all wide-eyed and giddy as I plunged deep into the abyss. It's not like I didn't warn them it would happen. I assume the goal was to imprison me further. Unfortunately for them, and for you, it enabled me to finally break free. Oh sure, the disdain is still apparent it's almost as if I inhale it with every breath. And I've learned to live with that. But I negotiated the barrier, Slimmy. I escaped the dungeon you made for me, trapping my heart and mind, and I freed my soul. The only one in control now is me, myself and I. Not you. Not them. Just the one with the power to achieve. It burns, doesn't it, Slim?

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 3

Hey Slim. Let's talk about your boy tonight. He's smart as a whip, that one. Can't put nothing past him. He's slippery and sly, and you know he inherited that from you. Putting his own little spin on every story he spews. He really knows how to turn the tables. Or so he thinks. What he doesn't realize, as you didn't, is that I'm alot smarter than he gives me credit for. I keep telling him over and over that the biggest mistake he can make is to underestimate me. Yet he still does every single time. You know something Slim, it's different this time. A young mind is at the center of controversy here and though still a challenge in its own right, the intense fear is absent. That's not to say I'm not anxious about what tomorrow brings, but I'm fighting this battle a bit more calmly this time around. I will always be in control this time, and I will use that control to twist and bend him into what he should be. You know what that is, right Slimmy? Kind. Respectful. Trusting. Honest. Rather than rude, disrespectful, gullible and sneaky. It's a daunting task considering he's so naive, just like you were. There's this distorted perception of reality, choosing to believe evil trumps good. But that's a learned behavior, and one that can be reversed. You taught him evil. I'll teach him the consequences of that evil. What goes around comes around, my man. You of all souls should know that.

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 2

Hey Slim,

This chapter won't make you weep, Slim....just the opposite. You'll be happy to know that your dying wish came true. Do you remember what you said to me that night in your fit of rage? Well, the Master granted your wish and brought your words to reality in a big, big way. Driving me "nuts" was putting it mildly my dear man. Each and every day is a struggle where my patience is pushed so far to the limit that I teeter precariously on the brink of total insanity. How I am able to push on through it all is a sheer mystery to me. It's way more than I can bear, Slim, and it's a miracle I'm still around to tell about it. Oftentimes I wonder why it was you instead of me that had to go. What did I do to deserve this? Why oh why was I chosen to endure the sorrow, the heartache, the misery? In my mind's eye I see you, jumping up and down with utter glee over the fact that he's picked up where you left off. Does it warm your cold heart, Slimmy, knowing your disdain lives on, continuing to cause so much pain that it numbs my soul? Is that your laughter I hear in the faraway rumble of thunder? Are you happy over there knowing that I'm here living in the personal prison you so painstakingly built for me all those years ago? One day I'll break free, Slim, and I'll know the sweet peace your world brings.

Stay tuned, my love. I have so much more to say to you.

Letters to Slimmy, Chapter 1

My dearest Slimmy,

I dreamt of you last night. A rather disturbing dream, as all dreams of you have been lately. I was about to leave you, walk away forever, when I turned back around, looked you dead in the eye and said "Fight for me." More than anything I wanted you to fight to keep me around so that I could love you and care for you always. You meant the world to me, Slim. I would've hung the moon or moved mountains if you asked me to. Nothing worth having comes without some kind of fight, Slim, and I was worth having so you should have fought and fought hard. I was always yours to win, you knew that, yet you never saw me for what I was worth. The one who sat quietly on the side in front of others, but in private lavished you with more love than even I realized I was capable of. You were worth it to me, so why was it so hard for you to reciprocate? All those years ago I gave myself completely to you and you chewed me up and spit me out but I put myself back together, my spirit broken and bruised, and gave myself to you over and over again. I saw more in you than you saw in yourself. A woman like that is a rare find, Slim, and now you'll never find it again. Lost forever is your chance to be loved.

There's many more chapters to this saga, my dear, so sit back and relax in your other world and get ready to read them and weep. Weep for what could have been, and what I pray will one day be mine again.

With all my love.....

WTF??...The Flipside

Things that make me smile, laugh and/or squeal with utter delight...

Flowers blooming. Sunshine. Giggling babies. Sleeping children. Steak, medium rare. Roller coasters. My mother-in-law. Surprise phone calls. Surprise emails. Making new friends. Hot fudge sundaes. Bear hugs. Fluffy pillows. Late night visitors. Corny jokes. Road trips. Twilight. Stolen kisses. 80s music. French Vanilla cappuccino. Cats purring. Peace and quiet. Goofy goobers...yeah! Finished projects. Empty laundry baskets. Cuddling. A clean house. Random acts of kindness. Fresh cut grass. Clean sheets. A second glance. A bold david abbott in my Inbox. \Weight loss. Riding Ripstiks. Dirty little secrets. Freshly fallen snow. Vacation. Air conditioning. Wet dreams. Light rain. Rainbows. Salary increases. Year-end bonuses. Yelling BINGO! Christmas parties. Families that get along. Found money. Successful new recipes. Guy Fieri. Compliments. Forgiveness. September 2020. Fond memories. New customers. Warm towels. Fruit Smoothie Skittles. Shopping. New hairdos. Manicures. Fireworks. My kids singing. Birds singing. Spiders. Oreos and milk. Waterslides. Nailing a 3-pointer. Making all the green lights. Tax refunds. Bargains. Chocolate. Dancing. First day of school. Making a house a home.

Have a beautiful day!

WTF??

Things that tick me off.....

Undercooked food. Flat tires. People who don't know how to drive. Unanswered emails. Unanswered phone calls. Denied friend requests. GAS PRICES!! Interrupted sleep. Nosy neighbors. Power outages. Ass kissers. Missed trains. Traffic jams. Weeds. Dead plants. Carpet stains. Cats with fleas. Leaky pipes. Kids who cuss. Assistant principals. Stolen money. Criminals. Pedophiles. Domestic abuse. Child abuse. Bad report cards. Grubs eating my grass. Cable outages. Bird crap on my window. Men who use women. Backstabbers. Broken hearts. Broken promises. Hypocrites. Fake boobs. Phony people. Cellulite. Crazy cab drivers. Fear. Terrorism. Conceited people. Liars. Bullies. Speed limits. Arson. Zits. Bill collectors. Telemarketers. Junk mail. Daycare costs. Arrogance. Unsolicited sexual advances. Computer crashes. Identity theft. Bad music. Bad acting. Homelessness. People who patronize others. Poverty. Racism. Wasted food. Crack babies. Drunks. Infidelity. Negativity. Bad hair days. Animal cruelty. Ill-fitting clothes. Cold sores. Dust mites. Moldy cheese. One night stands. Clogged drains. Unrequited love.

Ok, I'm done.....for now

Blog? What blog?

OK, I've been kicking around the idea of writing a blog for quite a while now and, since there's no time like the present, I've decided to give it a shot. After all, writing is listed as one of my interests and something I've aspired to for as long as I can remember. There's just one problem though....I've got millions of thoughts and ideas rolling around my massive brain but can't seem to find the correct way to put them on paper...or in this case, the computer. Naturally, I want my blog to be a collection of coherent sentences just brimming with wit and wisdom flowing effortlessly across the screen, captivating the reader and leaving them wanting more. So I ask myself: Self, is this something you can accomplish? Can your blog inspire and/or amuse your reader? Can you deconstruct all those jumbled thoughts in your head and put them out there for all the world to read and, more importantly, have it all make sense? Plenty of people write blogs all the time, so it can't be that difficult, right? Actually, many moons ago I vacationed, alone, in London and kept a journal chronicling my day-to-day adventures abroad. Well, what a mighty fine piece of literature that was if I do say so myself! So here I go embarking on another adventure, throwing caution to the wind, attempting to blog like no one's ever blogged before. Wish me luck in this new endeavor, dear readers, as I have a feeling I'm going to need it.