letters to slimmy, chapter 43

aw 9 mos. slim.  shame on me.  well, for what it's worth, you've been on my mind quite a bit.  the fact that i see your face everywhere i turn is a contributing factor.  here we go again, slim.  all those long buried fears and demons have come alive threefold.  am i a better person for having gone through this shit before?  i guess this is a test.  i'm angry, sad, hurt, insulted and bitter.  very bitter.  bitter is not me, slim! the love and light in my heart competes with sorrow and darkness, duking it out for my full attention.  i'm torn, slimmy.  part of me feels helpless, part of me stands strong.  rather than one overtaking the other i hover in the crevice between, fighting for breath.  alone.  does anyone hear me, slim?  i'm roaring yet silent.